My Remembrance

                                                                                                                                                 Anya Waddington   |   Aug. 11, 2021

      My Remembrance  

     My name is a symbol, not my identity. My name is fluid and ever-changing, a lasting impression, a family remembrance.

      My name is not my personality, yet my personality is so commonly attached to my name. My name is heavy and unpronounceable to many, so to strangers, I’m just “that girl,” or “hey you!”

     My name is of German and Russian origin, with the majority of my family living in Germany.  My name is Anya, derived from my Great Aunt, Anja (on-yuh). Whitewashed by American culture to look more pronounceable and appropriate, not that it helped. My middle name is Jane, a common name passed down to me from Generations of Great Grandmothers in my family.

     In America, my name means princess, something girlish and bland. But, in Greek and Hebrew, my name means resurrection. A beautiful meaning. I am the resurrection of something or someone, which is comforting to think about. I can be whoever or whatever I want to think I was in a previous life. I think this meaning suits me well, the mere thought of resurrection to me means something new, or different. Much like how I function and think, my personality and thoughts are ever-changing and developing.

     Anya is the color green, free-flowing, fluid, and unique. Like each blade of grass and every shimmering leaf on the oldest and tallest of oak trees. Anya is a song, every word different, building a bigger picture, telling a story, and writing a script as life moves along. Much like a book or children’s story, if my name and life were a book I would call it, “The flowers that grew from ashes,” reminding me of my childhood and a poppy flower. A brilliant, rare, orange flower that only grows after fires and in the presence of ashes, closely resembling the way of life. Anya is weightless, like carbon and ashes. A powerful element that makes up life and what is at the end of the timeline for many. 

     My name is the word Nodus Tollens, my favorite word. Nodus Tollens is the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore. Your life’s story has deviated from the desired path. But I want to add my own ending to this definition. It is up to you to change it and to find the will to want to see change. 

     My name is unique and powerful.