Finding My Way

On Tuesday, January 11th I was working my 5-10:00 shift at Walmart. At around 9 pm I was walking around in the back looking for something to do when I started to feel a bit weak and under the weather. That was when my Covid symptoms first became visible to me. I went to sit down on this metal rack, and when I touched the cold metal I felt like my skin was frozen. Anything I touched made my body feel fragile. 


When I came home I felt like a piece of glass on the shelf. Shower nor medicine helped with my headaches or the way my body felt. My sleep was terrible that night, I tossed and turned trying to figure out ways to make myself go back to sleep. I couldn’t. My head would not stop pounding. I ended up falling asleep again and waking up at around 8 in the morning to my head still hurting. It just never ended. I walked out of my room and stood in the lit hallway with a blanket wrapped around my body and warm tears running down my face. My mom looked concerned about why I was home and why I was crying. I told her how I was feeling and she was so motherly and caring. She made me an ice pack for my head, brought the heater to the living room for me and gave me ibuprofen for my head too- still nothing helped, but I really appreciated how much my mom cared for my health and how I was feeling, though I hated to rely on others. 


I was looking for places to get tested but everything was booked, I usually use curative but they didn’t have any rapid tests. I even looked at CVS and Walgreens, but still nothing. I ended up finding an appointment at 4:30 at a NextCareUrgentCare, and the good news was they did have rapid tests. They were pretty busy when me and my mom showed up, but we ended up getting in about 30-45 minutes after waiting. The doctors that I talked to were very nice and informative. I told them my symptoms and why I wanted to get tested so quickly, “I have work, school, and volleyball practice and would really suck if I came back positive.” I already had a feeling that my results were going to come back positive and about 15-20 minutes later my doctor came back in and told me I did indeed test positive. I was absolutely devastated. I couldn’t go to volleyball practice, go to work to make money, or go to school to learn for two weeks. I didn’t realize how used to my schedule I was until I had to sit still and do nothing for two weeks. It was really hard on me. I don’t like when thoughts linger around in my head.  I sat around day after day walking back and forth like an animal at a zoo. I felt so trapped, so alone. 


My symptoms gradually began to get better, but I was still experiencing congestion, a small cough, and minor headaches every now and then. I felt okay physically, but mentally it was pretty challenging for me. I didn’t realize how lonely it was until I was the one who had to experience quarantining. During the two weeks, I finished this series on Netflix, ‘Cheer’, about competitive cheerleaders at Navarro College in Texas and what they go through as a team during the season. In season two of the show the head coach, Monica Aldama, tested positive for Covid. In an interview she explained the struggles of being in quarantine. She discussed how lonely it was and that it was hard not being able to check up on her cheerleaders. It was also hard for her because they had a big competition and she wasn’t able to be at practice for them before the competition. 


I related to her experience, and it felt good knowing I wasn’t the only one. My time in quarantine was the most I’ve ever cried in such a short time span. I had so many emotions: I was angry, sad, neutral, confused, lonely- a little bit of everything. Any type of inconvenience would shook me, triggering my emotions and putting me in a mood to just cry and cry continuously, sometimes without reason. I hated not being able to feel the warm hugs I would get everyday from my friends, family and my boyfriend. I didn’t know how to deal or understand all of the emotions that I was having. 

I am better now, and I’ve learned to appreciate the importance of human contact, how crucial it is to mental and emotional wellbeing.

Please take into consideration those who are quarantined. It’s not easy. It can be physically and mentally challenging for anyone. COVID-19 is something more people should be concerned about, how it can really affect those who are infected and is something hard to get through.