Poem: When

We’ve been here before.

Don’t you remember, 

Or shall we re-live it once more?


Days were growing darker than the night,

sadness and demons, were my only friends.

You would say “Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

But now in my mind “it depends.” 


I trusted you the most,

For you were my best friend of course. 

But you just wanted to boast.

You pulled me in and used force.


But you never saw it that way,

I was just another girl in your book.

Now I just say “I’m ok”

When deep down I am shook


Thank God it was the last day of school,

It meant summer was around the corner.

I got to start working at the pool.  

I thought it would get warmer.


I thought I could finally forget,

But it just tortured me even more.

I was just your threat,

So you told everyone I was a whore. 


Lifeguard parties are fun, right?

No one to guard and you get to swim,

Well, not for me that night.

You came to the party off a whim.


Everything I worked on fell apart,

As I went home and had a panic attack.

You broke everything, including my heart.

Everything that night went black,


I did everything to help the pain,

But nothing ever changed.

I am going insane,

While everything had remained. 

They told me that everything would be fine,

As the next school year approached. 

But everything just started to decline, 

And I kept getting provoked.


Those names you gave me,

The lies you told,

Why can’t you see

I’m trying to stay composed.


But its all my fault,

I am the biggest liar here.

Even though you did the assault,

And I live with constant fear. 


I thought I could just ignore you,

But even from afar I can feel the force.

But I never knew,

You could be so coarse. 


I’m tired of sitting and being told to wait,

For the days to pass. 

They told me to get my life straight,

But you made me into glass.


I try to hide my emotions and needs.

I won’t allow myself to trust again,

And watch everything as it bleeds.

I’m tired of waiting and saying “when.”


Right as I was going to give up,

And let my pieces fall to the ground.

He just had to interrupt,

And ask “Why do you frown?”


I just told him I was tired,

And that school was just a pain.

He somehow wanted to acquire, 

What went on in my brain.


I forgot about the pain you caused,

I forgot that I was broke.

He told me to keep going and move beyond, 

For he showed me how to hope.